Edward and the Kitten
by Niamh929
Summary: Bella gets a new pet and of course it causes problems [ONESHOT]


**Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**I don't own these characters**

**So please don't sue**

**--------------------------------**

He moved slowly through the grass brushing along his muscular shoulders. His young and agile body swayed slightly as the breeze picked up the scent of his prey. The animal was upwind of him. He moved silently and smoothly in the direction that the scent wafted in from. He saw it now. Dancing in the sunlight, his prey flitted around unaware of the proximity of an ultimate predator. His body tensed and shifted silently. In a heart beat, the smaller creature was pinned to the ground. It screamed and pleaded plaintive cries for help as the predator moved in closer to bite the squirming prey.

A hand reached under the predator and lifted it off the struggling bird. "Knock it off! We never hunt so close to the house!" Edward's voice scolded. He turned back to the Cullen house and called out, "Bella, come get this stupid cat. It's trying to eat the wildlife again."

Stumbling as she came to Edward to retrieve the kitten, Bella fell into Edward's arms. "Now I've got both of you," Edward said looking from the cat back to Bella. "What to do with you?"

Bella kissed Edward on the nose and pulled herself from his arms. "Give me, Mr. Monkeyface."

"Mr. Monkeyface? Why couldn't we give the cat a better name?" Edward asked with a sneer.

"I told you to name him and you said you couldn't think of one. So, Emmett named him: Mr. Monkeyface." Bella held the orange tabby's belly to her face and blew a raspberry against it. "Isn't that right, Mr. Monkeyface."

Edward looked disgusted. A smile played across his eyes and slowly touched his lips. "How about we name him … Featherbrain?"

"I like EJ," Bella answered sitting herself down on the grass. Edward stood a few feet away looking from the cat to his fiancée.

"EJ?" he said, raising a single eyebrow at her.

"Eddie Junior."

"OH NO!" he roared in laugher. "That is a terrible name. How about Pumpkin? That's a good cat name."

Bella looked the orange cat over. "Pumpkin? Do you like that name?"

The small kitten mewed. "He's hungry. Will you feed him?" Bella extended her arms so Edward could take the kitten from her.

Edward took Pumpkin by the scruff of the neck and looked him over appraisingly. "Edward, I said feed him, not eat him. You're looking at him like he's a steak."

"HAA!" he exclaimed. "I like mountain lions, not kittens." He looked over the kitten again. "He wouldn't even make a good appetizer."

Bella tried to take Pumpkin back from him, "he can hear you, you know."

"What's that Pumpkin?" Edward cradling the kitten to his ear. "You want Emmett to eat you? OK!"

With a shot, Edward was flying up the front lawn as Bella shrieked comprehension behind him. When she finally reached the house, she found Edward and Esme in the kitchen opening three tins of cat food. "Which do you think he'll like?" Esme asked. "Tuna, chicken, or beef?"

Bella shrugged and threw herself into a chair. _Why did Renee think I needed a pet? And a cat, no less?_

"You know, you can keep Pumpkin here, if you want," Bella said aloud. Esme looked up, startled.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?" she answered with a question.

"Not at all. I killed about five goldfish before I realized there wasn't a spark of care giving in me. Pumpkin, formerly Mr. Monkeyface, is all yours."

At that moment, four things happened simultaneously: Jasper, Alice and Rosalie walked in through the back door, Pumpkins' head swiveled to the new comers, Esme grabbed the cat from Bella's arms and Edward pushed her roughly backwards into a cupboard. Bella heard tea cups tinkle out of the now opened cupboard doors and smash to the ground below.

When Bella looked around Edward's protective arms, she found Alice and Jasper holding Rosalie to the ground inches from Esme. Esme had her arms in a granite cocoon around the small orange tabby and was breathing hard.

"Alice, get her to the living room. Edward," Esme pushed Pumpkin into his hands. "Take the cat to your room. Let him there for now. Bella, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Bella answered. Edward left her side and returned in the span of two heart beats.

"What happened?" Bella asked.

Edward turned Bella to him. "Rosalie must have smelled Pumpkin. The minute that she walked into the house, her eyes turned black and she sprang at you and Pumpkin. Esme protected the cat. I protected you and Alice and Jasper calmed down Rosalie."

"Is she … ok?" Bella asked.

"Relatively," Esme answered. Suddenly, Edward's eyes shifted to the ceiling and a look of concentration striped across his brow.

"Damn it!" he swore and tore up the stairs towards his room. Esme grabbed Bella around the waist and followed behind her son at breakneck speed.

"Edward, what's …" her question stuck in her mouth. Esme's jaw went slack. Edward stood by his black leather couch, again holding the cat by the scruff of the neck. "What happened?"

Puffs of white fuzz floated through the air around Edward. The orange tabby he held aloft spat out a puff.

"Your cat ruined my couch," he spat out each word like it was bitter. "Get him out of here before I kill him."

Esme grabbed the cat and took off for the stairs and what Bella presumed was her own room. "Oh, Edward," Bella said wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Pumpkin ruined your couch."

Edward traced the lines of the claw marks through the soft black leather. "I can replace it, if you want," Bella offered.

"No," he said resignedly. A low guttural growl reached his lips as he turned to her and kissed her lips. "I've got to go hunt or I might kill that fur ball."

Watching Edward run across the lawn and towards the woods, Bella turned out of his room and headed to see Alice, Jasper and Rosalie. In the living room, Jasper held Rosalie's hand and was whispering softly to her. Alice motioned for Bella to follow her back to her and Jasper's room, upstairs.

"Rosalie wanted to eat that kitten," Alice confided. Bella shock her head in response. "She's upset because she's never killed a pet before. She didn't want to start now."

"Edward's upset, too," Bella confessed. "Esme's got Pumpkin up in her room. It tried … well it tried to rip Edward's couch apart. He's really upset."

Alice's eyes shot up to Bella. "Esme never let's me buy furniture. Let's go buy Edward something!"

Hours later, Alice was pulling a plush suede chair off of the back of a rented uHaul truck. The "Cuddler" that she had insisted on buying Edward was pale green and soft as silk. It looked almost like an oversized arm chair or a small loveseat. Nonetheless, it would fit two people comfortably. "Just the right size for you and Edward to fall asleep in," she said with a nudge of her elbow.

Edward returned that night while Bella was in the kitchen making something to eat. He slipped inside and headed for the shower grumbling something Bella could not hear, but made Carlisle chuckle.

After she finished eating, Bella plopped herself in the living room with Emmett and Rosalie. "How's the cat?" Rosalie asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"Mr. Monkeyface?" Emmett asked. "What's the matter with him?"

"Nothing," I answered. Rosalie looked at Bella incredulously for a moment and, then smiled smally, grateful she had not told him Rosalie had almost eaten Esme's new pet. "His name is Pumpkin, Emmett. Edward renamed him."

"Pumpkin? That's not a boy's name. You should call him 'Bruiser' or 'Smasher.' Pumpkin? Girl's name," Emmett said not taking his eyes off the baseball game on the television.

When she had almost fallen asleep, Bella felt Alice gently touch her arm. "Come with me," Alice mouthed inaudibly. Bella followed her to the kitchen where Alice wrote down: _I am going to carry you to Edward's room. The door is open. Don't say anything. And try to hold your breath when we get close, ok?_

_Why?_ I wrote back.

_You'll see_. Bella barely had time to read this when Alice swept her off her feet and ran for Edward's room. She held her breath the minute Alice picked her up and opened her eyes in time to see into Edward's room.

On his new "Cuddler" was Edward. Dressed in flannel pajamas bottoms that Bella had bought him for their anniversary, Edward was curled almost into a ball. Bella could hear him cooing softly and whispering something. She caught three words, "I love you."

Bella giggled slightly when she realized what he was doing. Edward's head sprang up and, if he could, Bella knew he would be blushing bright crimson. The small orange tabby lay purring the center where Edward had been curled up just moments before. "What are you doing?"

"Talking to Pumpkin. He is very cute when you get to know him," Edward confessed lifting the cat off of the chair and placing him on the clothes hamper in the bathroom. "Sleep there," he ordered the kitten.

Edward returned to Bella. "I can hear his thoughts. That is one of the reasons I do not like cats. They are very human like, even in their thoughts," he drew Bella into an embrace. "Do you know why he tore apart my sofa?"

Bella shook her head.

"He was jealous that you were paying attention to me and not him. Reminds me of Mike Newton. Maybe we should call him Mike?" Bella smacked him on the chest with her palm before drawing him in for a kiss.

"He should be jealous," she said kissing him again. "I love you much more than him. I plan to be paying a lot of attention to you in the near future."

Hours later, Alice walked by Edward's room and looked in. On his new chair, she saw Bella and Edward entwined in an embrace. Bella's breathing came deep and even. Edward sighed and a content smile lit his mouth and, then, his eyes. A small orange tabby slept at Edward's side where his hand rhythmically petted the tiny animal. Alice smiled herself. "Good night, Edward," she said closing the door.

"Good night, Alice," he answered, too quietly to wake Bella or Pumpkin, and kissed Bella, again, nuzzling into her fragrant hair. "Good night, my love."


End file.
